A Five Point Agenda

Bharatiya Janata Party

• One month before the elections, the party should drop Narendra Modi and nominate LK Advani or Sushma Swaraj as the Prime Ministerial candidate.
• If Modi is to be retained, he should express regret in public for having neglected his rajdharma in 2002. The apology should be tendered in the benign presence of Atal Behari Vajpayee.
• Modi should dump the likes of Amit Shah. He should release the jailed IAS and IPS officers and reinstate the ones under suspension.
• Modi should express his views on the Mukesh Ambani affair.
• Modi should agree to exclusive interviews with Arnab Goswami and Rajat Sharma and not walk out of the studio, whatever be the provocation.

Congress

• The party should nominate Sonia Gandhi as its Prime Ministerial candidate, with Rahul as the Minister for Clean Politics, Dynastic Affairs, Youth Affairs and Sports.
• The Jan Lokpal Bill and other anti-corruption measures should be brought in as Ordinances. Arvind Kejriwal may be inducted into the party as Informal Chief Adviser (Anti-corruption Movement).
• All candidates named in various scams should be denied tickets. Tickets may instead be given to their kin.
• Some prominent scamsters should be jailed, through the CBI or in spite of the CBI.
• Pre-poll alliances with tainted politicians and their parties should be avoided. Such alliances can be better managed after the elections.

Third Front

• The Front should evolve a consensus on who will be the Prime Minister, Co-Prime Minister, Deputy Prime Minister, Assistant Prime Minister, etc., in case the Front wins.
• The parties constituting the Front should not enter into post-poll alliance with its competitors, howsoever attractive the offer.
• The Front should accept a Common Minimum (or Uncommon Maximum) Programme before the polls.
• In case there are members with giant-sized egos, they should be arranged in diminishing order of size and the person with the largest size nominated as the leader.
• The Right and the Left should practise marching with the Centre for at least one hour, morning and evening.

Aam Aadmi Party

• Arvind Kejriwal should stop saying that he is an aam aam aadmi. He should lay claim to being a khaas aam aadmi.
• Yogendra Yadav should give up psephology and concentrate on politics. In particular, he should take lessons on governance from Ashok Khemka in six-month easy instalments.
• The AAP should declare its intention not to accept the Prime Minister’s chair, except after a nationwide referendum.
• Kejriwal should make peace with Anna Hazare by conferring the title of Mahatma on him. He should mollify Kiran Bedi by promising her the Home Ministry in case he wins.
• Aam Aadmi Party should not accept outside, inside, upside or downside support to form the government in Delhi, if they do not get a majority on their own.

You and Me

• Let us keep our cool and not get excited over competing factions. Their apparent fights are like the wrestling matches of WWF, mock-staged for our benefit.
• Let us all vote. If no candidate is suitable in a constituency, let us all vote, ‘None of the above’. Alternatively, we may vote, ‘All of the above’.
• Let us refuse to accept freebies, howsoever attractive or expensive.
• Let us elect women.
• Let us give our support to the best candidate, irrespective of his or her party label. Inside, they are all the same. They only appear to be different.

MK Kaw is a former Secretary, Government of India